Top Ten Lists

Between 80 and 83 percent of the girls in Provo Utah are undateable.  That is statistical fact.  I compiled the numbers, did the research and settled on that number.  The remaining 17 to 20 percent should give me a call and I'll make you dinner.  You know who you are.

Everybody loves a good list.  Everyone loves a good movie.  Everyone loves a good sandwich.  That last one is unrelated, but I am hungry right now and could go for a sandwich.  My roommate Shane is not a fan of the sandwich, a fact which seems to be a big damper on our friendship.  But I digress.

I love a good movie and my favorite movie seems to change fairly often.  Here are my top seven right now and a brief explanation of why I love them.

1.  A River Runs Through It

A movie about fly-fishing brothers in Missoula Montana.  This one is a no brainer.  If you know anything about me, there is no reason to ask why I like this movie.  When I am away from Montana, this movie is like a little taste of home.  Often people find this movie boring or slow and that is because they are too used to watching movies about fighting robots and sparkly vampires.  This movie does not thrust itself upon you.  It is subtle and beautiful.

Best Line: "Oh, I'll never leave Montana, brother"

2.  Swiss Family Robinson

I am, of course, referring to the 1960 classic Disney movie.  Family shipwrecks on island, family captures all sorts of animals, family builds awesome tree fort, family fights pirates, the end.  Oh, and not to mention, a babe falls into the family's lap while on the island.  Animals, pirates and babes; now there is a winning combination for a movie.  My brothers and I liked this movie so much growing up that we started calling each other Fritz, Ernst and Francis.

Best Line: "Francis got his tiger."

3.  The Proposition

The Proposition is the best Western that I have ever seen and it takes place in Australia.  A man's younger brother is in prison awaiting execution and the only way he can rescue him is by tracking down and killing his other brother, who is a brutal killer.  This movie made Guy Pearce my second favorite actor and gave me chills.  You deserve to see it.  You also deserve a nice sandwich.

Best Line: "Mr. Murphy, Russia, China, the Congo, oh, I have traveled among unknown people in lands beyond the seas. But nothing, *nothing* could have prepared me for this godforsaken hole."

4.  Fight Club

After the first time I watched Fight Club, I immediately started the movie over and watched it again.  That was the only time I have ever done this.  Fight Club, in essence,  is about boys being boys.  After becoming disenchanted with his life, Edward Norton joins Brad Pitt and starts a fight club and recruits other men who have similar misgivings.  Things escalate.  This is what will happen to Provo in a few years if things continue on their course.  Except it will probably be called X-box Club and will be much gayer.  

Best Line: "Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken"

5.  Jurassic Park

I still remember the feeling I got when I saw the title of this movie grace the screen for the first time at ten years old.  I still get that same feeling to this day when I watch it.  I saw Jurassic Park in the theater five times when it came out.  Five times.  I also almost peed my pants from excitement when the T-rex ate the guy on the toilet.  If Jurassic Park was real, I would devote my life to getting a job there.  And once the dinosaurs got out, while everybody was running around screaming, I would be sitting in the corner with a big smile on my face just waiting for the mayhem.  

Best Line: "Clever girl"

6.  Casino

Martin Scorsese is one of my favorite directors and I actually prefer this movie to Goodfellas.  Maybe it is because Ginger reminds me of a girl I once dated; beautiful, smart, charming, but incredibly destructive.  Their relationship is, in my opinion, the most interesting part of the movie and it leads to the eventual downfall of almost everyone in the movie.   Robert De Niro is amazing, Joe Pesci is cringeworthy and the movie never once looses steam.  I can't change the channel when I come across this movie on TV.  It also makes me feel like a chump.  

Best Line: "When you love someone, you've gotta trust them. There's no other way. You've got to give them the key to everything that's yours. Otherwise, what's the point? And for a while, I believed, that's the kind of love I had"

7.  The Fall

Visually, this is one of the most, if not the most impressive movie I have ever seen.  The little russian girl is amazing and steals the show.  Lee Pace is amazing as an injured, suicidal stunt man.  If you do decide to rent this one, watch it on the biggest and nicest screen possible.  It is hard to follow at times, and pretty weird as well, but it makes up for it's shortcomings with amazing cinematography and some great acting.  

Best Line: "Are you trying to save my soul?"